Monday, March 21, 2011
It Still Hurts
It's been exactly 4 months since I lost my Kaitlyn. I am in so much pain today. It feels like everyone I know is pregnant or just had a baby. I just don't understand why I'm not one of them. Why are they more deserving then me? I really hate feeling this way. I don't want to forget about my 3 angel babies, but I don't wanna cry anymore. I don't wanna hurt anymore.
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A lot of people feel like life is not fair , wny r some peope healty and some people sick? How come some people are rich and others struggle, how can some buy a house and some only dream to one day. Why do some live life in a wheel chair and others walk freely. You will ask yourself that many times throughout life, it's those times when you have to gather your strength and be thankful for all the blessings you do have. You wil continue to receive challenges and blessings the rest of your life , some harder then others. You have to gather all your strength and keep looking pushing forward. As hard as it is, it's not for us to judge what in life is or isnt fair. love you ,mom
ReplyDeleteHello, I am a survivor of H1N1, and was also 27 weeks pregnant with my baby daughter, She did not survive this traumatic experience, I was on a ventilator for 17 days, and ecmo for 11, in ICU for around 3 weeks with a 20% chance of surviving, she was born and died on Nov 7, 2009, I did not find out she died until 2 weeks later for i was in a chemically induced coma for the ventilator. it has been 16 months and i am still dealing with the loss, I see a counsleor twice a month to help me. She weighed 2 lbs 1 oz, 15 inches long. I look at her pictures and the video of her funeral. but wish to this day i could of held her. I will love and miss her the rest of my life.
ReplyDeleteOh how I can relate to this post today ... We have 4 angel babies ... and sometimes we have days like today ... life just SUCKS! No explanations, no words will do ... no words really help either ... its just about surviving the day and hoping tomorrow gets better
ReplyDeleteIt's been 19 years since I lost my son and while it still hurts, it does get easier. You'll never forget but you can learn to enjoy your life again. Brandon Zachary McNabb born Sept. 3, 1992 7 inches long 4 oz.
ReplyDeleteAre you okay? I see you have not blogged in a while. I lost my son Jacob one month ago yesterday. I carried him full term, delivered him, and he died immediately. Was born without lungs and it's undetectable before birth. It is so hard. I have thought about blogging too but am scared no one will say anything and I will feel more like no one cares. Please know you are not alone. I hope your grief has healed some not that I can imagine it ever goes away. From one mom to another. Nora
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